Home You Know You’re a Horse Lover When… Your school book report is on the Dover Saddlery catalog. You hurt your foot and tell your friends you came up lame. You are elated when a nice pair of jeans is ripped or stained because you just gained a new pair of comfortable riding jeans! You see a great looking guy riding a horse and only notice the horse. You lean forward as your car goes over a speed bump. The only shoes you have are covered in mud and manure. You quickly hop out of bed at 5am to head to a big horse show when just the day before you hit the snooze alarm over and over until you were late for work. You tie your tennis shoes in a quick release knot. You walk behind your car and touch it so it knows you are there. You’d rather muck stalls than clean your house. You go on vacation and call twice a day to check on the horses and forget to ask about the kids. You see a golf course and think about how that would make great pastureland. Towing capacity and wheel base are more important to you than gas mileage. Your friends and family check the barn before the house to see if you are home. You refer to your bedroom as your stall. You’re spending more money on hay to make your horse “go” than gas for your car. You’re the only girl on your block whose favorite shoes are a pair of muck boots. Your hair style is determined by how well it’ll fit underneath a helmet. All the “good carrots” are saved for your horse but the “bad carrots” go into the pot of stew you’re fixing for dinner. You cut your finger and you have to run out to the tackroom because that’s where all your first aid supplies are located. When there’s just as much horse hair on your clothes as on your horse. You say “whoa” as you hit your car brakes. Your horse’s shampoo is more expensive than your human shampoo. Your horse gets his dinner before your kids do. You go to the supermarket in your breeches and boots. Your horse’s stable is spotless and your house is always a mess. Your veterinarian is number one on your speed dial and your husband is number two.