A Fateful Ice Storm

While the organization had been able to meet and exceed its goals year after year, they always knew that they could do more with the right facility.

“For the first five years, we didn’t have an official facility,” says Hoch. “While the previous facility was adequate, the weather forecast for that fateful month in 2021 indicated that it would be really cold with life-threatening wind chills.”

With the predicted ice and extreme cold, there was a legitimate concern that not only would the caregivers be unable to reach the horses at Nexus Equine, but that the horses might not have the type of shelter they required to meet their needs.

“We ended up having some longtime supporters take some of the horses in,” explains Hoch. “One of them was my father, and I ended up staying out there with him for a week during the storm.”

One morning during her stay, Hoch received a call from a donor.

“The roads were bad, people were out of power, the water was frozen, and we had 17 Nexus horses at my father’s house so that they could be taken care of and have adequate shelter,” Hoch says. “When [the donor] called, she asked what I was doing. I explained to her everything that was happening. She marveled at it all and was impressed and grateful for the lengths we were going to for our horses.”

Hoch returned to her chores, but about 30 minutes later, the donor called again.

“Between the two phone calls, I had fallen in the snow and my niece had to get me up,” Hoch says. “Both of us were laughing at how crazy all of this was. We were trying to break the ice. We had to carry water buckets to the house to fill up since the water was frozen at the barn. It was a nightmare. When she called back, she said we’ve got to get you into a facility where you never have to do this again. She said I want you to be able to carry out your mission both today and tomorrow. I started crying!”

New Nexus Equine Facility and Outreach

Fast-forward to June 2021.

“We were given this beautiful opportunity to get into this property,” Hoch says. “It’s on the west side of metropolitan Oklahoma City in a small town called El Reno. It’s a 160-acre property with a beautiful barn, along with hay and equipment sheds. There’s a beautiful 3,000-square-foot home that allows for someone to be onsite 24/7, with 5½ miles of pipe and cable fencing and multiple run-in sheds. It also features an indoor covered arena and an outdoor arena. We can do anything with this facility.”

Without that phone call, the current level of organizational maturity might never have happened or, if it did, it may have taken years of fundraising to reach. Today, the anonymous donor, along with others, continues to demonstrate their support.

“Today, we can take care of any horse that we need to take care of,” Hoch says. “We can increase our capacity to help more equines.”

Beyond being able to help more horses, it’s equally important to Hoch to expand the organization’s community outreach.

“We want to create opportunities for the community to be involved,” she says. “We want them to have interactions with horses that they otherwise might not have. Since we’ve been out here, we’ve had many different organizations come out that would not have been able to if we were not at this facility. In particular, it would not have been possible for children to come out and ride and interact with horses, learn something, then go back to inner-city Oklahoma City having done something different.”

Just one example of the organization’s expanded community outreach is a partnership they have with the Oklahoma City Police Department’s Police Athletic League. This partnership allows children to come to the facility and be exposed to positive opportunities and interactions. In addition to riding and engaging with the horses, the children have an opportunity to learn about farrier care, nutrition, and other aspects of horse health.

“Any time you can show these kids—especially ones that have never been exposed to horses—that there is a whole other world of interests and opportunities they may not have been aware of before, it’s pretty incredible,” says Hoch.

As someone who knows firsthand the impact that horses can have on a life, she believes it is very important for her to create these types of opportunities for others. Another example of Hoch’s vision was hosting the Center of Family Love, a residential care facility that serves mentally and physically disabled adults, earlier in 2022.

“It brought us all to tears watching them interact with the horses,” she says. “Spending time with horses, interacting with their quiet beautiful nature, not only brings positivity to one’s life, but I believe makes us better versions of ourselves.”

Help Is Still Needed

Like many organizations, Nexus Equine was hard-hit financially by Covid. If not for their grittiness, increased costs for even the upkeep of the old facility might have been out of reach. Now, however, they look to continue to grow. Increased opportunities for youth engagement and a bigger facility mean a bigger budget. Financial contributions are always welcome through the organization’s website, nexusequine.org. The organization also has an Amazon Wish List to help meet their needs.

If you are unable to contribute financially, volunteers are always welcome, and increasing the organization’s volunteer base is at the top of Hoch’s list of goals. An application can also be found on their website.

It’s an exciting time at Nexus Equine, and everyone is welcome to take part.

This article appeared in the January/February 2023 issue of Horse Illustrated magazine. Click here to subscribe!

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When Mary Trowbridge learned she was being featured in Horse Illustrated for her work with the Arabian Horsemen’s Distress Fund, she was shocked.

“This story cannot be about me!” said Trowbridge, founder and board member of the AHDF. However, the story about how this horse trainer established a nonprofit is too inspiring to keep quiet.

The Arabian Horsemen’s Distress Fund (AHDF) is a 501(c)3 founded in 2005. It is run by six board members and funded by donors, most of whom are members of the Arabian horse community. The fund provides financial assistance to horsemen and horsewomen when tragedy strikes. It is a way for fellow community members to help each other in life’s most frightening moments.

Eligible funding events include medical emergencies, barn fires, natural disasters, unexpected loss, and other life-altering events. Although beneficiaries must be members of the Arabian Horse Association, the fund is an independent entity and not tied to the association.

What is now a multimillion-dollar fund began with Trowbridge organizing one raffle to raise money for a friend in need.

What Friends Are For

Ron Copple Jr. was diagnosed with stage four Hodgkin’s lymphoma in the fall of 2004. He was a young trainer at the time, just starting to rise in the Arabian horse industry. News of Copple’s diagnosis began to spread at the Scottsdale Arabian Horse Show in February 2005.

After hearing the tragic news, Trowbridge and a group of other industry friends knew they had to do something to help. With Trowbridge’s leadership, they organized a few fundraising events to be held during that week of competition.

They were inspired by others’ willingness to give. Although Copple was going to need more support as he navigated what lay ahead, Trowbridge recognized this momentum could continue after he was healed. He wasn’t the first person in this community who would have benefited from their help, and he wouldn’t be the last.

When Trowbridge got home from the show, she went about learning how to run a nonprofit. Even with no prior nonprofit experience and a training business of her own to run, she opened a bank account, established AHDF as a 501(c)3, and got to work.

Seventeen years later, cancer-free Copple—and many others—are grateful for Trowbridge’s initiative and continued hard work. Trowbridge’s passion for the fund keeps these “graduates,” as she calls them, deeply involved in the AHDF’s fundraisers and activities.

When asked about what inspired the fund’s start, Trowbridge simply states, “We all should want to help someone when their chips are down.”

A Woman of Many Talents

Trowbridge began training horses in 1978 at Sir William Arabian farm. The sign above the farm’s entrance read “Our integrity is your guarantee.” She carries that mantra through Trowbridge’s, Ltd., which she has run with her husband Pat since 1991. She—and the entire board—demand the same integrity is found within the AHDF.

Trowbridge is a professional horsewoman and a self-taught nonprofit leader. She generously gives her time, attention and energy to the fund, driven by her passion for the Arabian horse and the knowledge that we are stronger with friends’ support.

“Living through all of the tough life experiences alongside everyone is the hardest part,” Trowbridge says of the difficulties that leading AHDF brings. “I’m a firm believer that the toughest situations are the places where we can find the very best lessons in life, if we only have the time to take a breath to look for them.”

For the Love of Horses

In Trowbridge’s opinion, the secret sauce to the fund’s success is the shared love for the Arabian horse. Beneficiaries and donors are tied together by the bond they share with their horses.

“Our Arabian horses are gifts,” Trowbridge says with emotion. “I think that’s why people give so generously. We recognize the beautiful thing we have within these animals and want to do whatever we can do to make sure our industry, our people and our horses thrive. The AHDF helps us all to celebrate the Arabian horse.”

Sometimes horses cross people’s paths for reasons they might not realize at the time. Now 26-year-old Lillie Ellis and her family learned this when she was diagnosed with osteosarcoma in 2010. Her parents had just bought their first Arabian, Windborne Maestro (aka “Mo”), when she received this life-changing diagnosis.

Ellis was in the height of her battle when Trowbridge called Ellis’ mother, Heather Freeman. Ellis’ health had taken a scary turn and they needed help. The AHDF and Trowbridge embraced this first-time horse owner the same way they did their longtime friend five years prior.

“Mary and the Arabian Horsemen’s Distress Fund were absolute live-savers,” Freeman says. “If we hadn’t had Mo, and hadn’t been part of the Arabian horse community, I don’t know where we’d be.”

Mentions of Trowbridge’s above-and-beyond support were plentiful among beneficiaries. She is a catalyst for immediate financial relief, but people commented more often about her heart, kind words, and emotional support.

Trowbridge brings Maya Angelou’s quote to life in her work with AHDF: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

The Arabian Horse Community

The Arabian horse community is close-knit: When something tragic happens, words, thoughts, prayers and aid spread quickly. Many times, the AHDF board offers assistance before the person, family or farm in need has had a chance to ask.

Trowbridge and board members prioritize protecting their beneficiaries’ privacy. While many situations gain quick, public support, about 80 percent of funding is confidential. People give to the fund with the quiet reminder that they may need it one day. Nobody is invincible to the unexpected, and AHDF is a great comfort for the Arabian horse community.

Since it began in 2005, the AHDF has raised and disbursed more than $2.5 million in assistance to fellow horsemen and women. Hearing a number this massive might make the fund sound like something kept alive through large donations. While there are instances of extreme generosity and record-breaking fundraisers, Trowbridge emphasizes how crucial every donation is.

“People give what they can,” she says. “If they can give in large ways, that is wonderful. However, there is also something special about the people who give $20 a month. This fund is for all of us in the Arabian horse community, so it’s beautiful that even its funding reflects our diversity.”

The Future of the Arabian Horsemen’s Distress Fund

Seventeen years and $2.5 million is just the beginning for the AHDF. Trowbridge’s goals for the fund are that it continually reminds people that horses are blessings, spreads awareness of the good within the Arabian horse community, and brings this community together for many generations to come.

“It’s an ongoing privilege, and frankly a sacred honor to me, to be with people during tough times thanks to the generosity of all who support AHDF,” says Trowbridge.

Without her dedication and enthusiasm, the fund would not have grown to be what it is today. Donors give their money, board members offer their guidance, and beneficiaries humbly accept the fund’s assistance; however, every dollar of that $2.5 million could have gone many other places if Trowbridge didn’t set up that bank account in 2005.

You can learn more about the AHDF at www.horsemensdistressfund.com.

This article about the Arabian Horsemens’ Distress Fund helping the Arabian horse community appeared in the October 2022 issue of Horse Illustrated magazine. Click here to subscribe!

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“Ignore the appearance of my fence.”

“I shortened the lead rope after I took the picture.”

“I know my position needs work.”

In an attempt to ward off potential critics, almost all of us, including me, have been guilty at some point of including an apology of sorts with our social media posts.

I’ve also seen a horse’s conformation ripped apart when an owner meant only to lovingly share a photograph of her horse. Then there are those who are not qualified to act as trainers, farriers, or veterinarians offering advice on how they would handle certain situations if it were their horse.

For example, years ago when my mare my was severely afflicted with founder, I was openly attacked in the comments of a social media post I made by the spouse of a farrier who did not know me and had never seen my horse. This person took issue with the treatment protocol of a well-respected veterinary hospital and their team of veterinarians and farriers who were very experienced in the care of foundered horses and whose care my mare was under.

Why Be Nasty?

Why is it that some within our equestrian community feel the need to make negative, critical comments—and in some cases cross the line into cyberbullying—on the social media posts of others?

“Typically, it’s a need to pass judgment on and criticize others,” says Janet Edgette, Psy.D., equestrian and clinical sport psychologist. “Or it’s such a deep sense of inferiority that only by judging others harshly can they maintain any kind of positive self-regard.” Sometimes, Edgette explains, it’s a need to present oneself as more discerning, knowledgeable or skilled than others.

In other situations, people who feel angry all the time are gratified by inflicting harm on others and seeing or imagining them in distress, according to Edgette. Or there can be a person who is vindictive and trying to exact revenge for some perceived or actual wrongdoing, even if inadvertent or accidental. These people want to “even the score,” she says.

Crossing a Line

While it’s bad enough when hurtful comments are a one-time deal, it’s even more cruel when these social media critics become cyberbullies. The line is crossed when this type of behavior becomes intentional.

“People who post mean, rude, or critical comments become bullies when they mean to hurt the other person and it’s repeated over time,” Edgette says. “There’s usually some kind of power imbalance between the critic and the rider being criticized. For example, the critic is an instructor, or someone with a large social media following, or perhaps someone in the rider’s barn or social circle that is popular or otherwise has a lot of social media capital with which to influence the opinions of others.”

A Varied Effect

The effects of these types of comments, whether they are one-time or repeated, can vary.

“The least affected individuals will have a very centered and grounded sense of themselves,” says Edgette. “Meaning, they are not overly reactive to external events in their lives, are disinterested in drama, have no need to prove themselves to anyone they don’t know personally, and don’t take comments personally. They realize that the comments reflect more on the sender than themselves. The most affected are typically those who are easily offended by others or are especially reactive in conflict situations, or who feel a strong need to defend oneself against any criticism, or who can’t resist the urge to prove the critic wrong, or who remain steadfast in the belief that there’s value in engaging with the critic.”

Detrimental consequences for those severely affected by criticism can range from physical and mental symptoms to poor performance in other areas of life and even suicide.

Preventative Measures

Fortunately, if you are a victim of a critical or hurtful post, there are steps you can take to keep the situation from spiraling out of control. Edgette advises not responding at all.

“Nothing positive will ever come out of any exchange between the rider and the critic,” she says. “There is no ‘changing the other person’s mind.’ The critic is not looking for dialogue or perspective or enlightenment. They are looking to make someone else feel bad. And for so many of them, this type of activity is recreation, which is incredibly sad.”

Edgette states that while you can’t stop others from posting negative comments, there are some things that you can do to reduce the chances of being on the receiving end of such criticism:

◆ Never respond to any comments that you get. That’s what the other person wants from you. They’re ready to do battle and have no interest in hearing your point of view. Leave it.

◆ Take a second look at your posts to make sure there’s nothing that might invite critics. For example, avoid claiming that your way is the best or asking for feedback.

◆ Don’t be a critic yourself, no matter how valuable you believe your input to be. If people aren’t asking, they aren’t hearing, either.

◆ Don’t try to inform or educate other riders even if you think they need to hear your advice or input and you’re sure that you’re saying it nicely. A comment doesn’t have to be critical in order to feel critical to the reader.

◆ Don’t let the poor behavior of others on social media change how you show up online.

In the end, it’s important to realize that attempting to shame others rarely results in positive changes. More often than not, it does quite the opposite. Instead, as an industry, we would do well to adopt a supportive dialogue with one another.

This article about social media critics appeared in the October 2022 issue of Horse Illustrated magazine. Click here to subscribe!

The post Social Media Critics in the Horse World appeared first on Horse Illustrated Magazine.

The Arkansas horsewoman says that in her frustration with aging, she decided to make a Facebook group just for horsewomen. She knew that only others with a passion for horses could understand why it was important for her to keep horses in her life. In her original post, she shared her worries and stated, I don’t bounce anymore.

“That post on my personal Facebook page and the new group I created really resonated,” says Roberts. “I was 65 and ready to live my retirement dream. But instead, I had two knee replacements and I slowed down my activity. I found myself vulnerable. I don’t think that many people had put that idea out there—that I’m older and I’m afraid of my 1,200-pound horse. I wondered, ‘Am I alone in feeling like this?’ I needed a tribe of women who understood.”

Formation of Horse-Loving Group

Roberts quickly found her cohorts. She shared her post with horse owners who were already on her friend list in January of 2017. By September 2017, her group grew to 10,000 members. The booming Facebook group for Aging Horsewomen Intl. now boasts 57,700 members—from the United States and Canada to New Zealand, Australia, all over Europe, and more.

The group has no strict minimum age requirements but is open to all women craving a supportive community—and who aren’t turned off by the name. The oldest riders are in their 90s.

“We’re a close-knit group, and people post concerns in there that they might not share on other social media,” Roberts says. “I’ve had people join and then complain that there are posts about people and not just about horses. I tell them to look at the name—it’s about aging horsewomen. I am open to anything that supports women in their horse lives. It’s authentic, and our members open up. We have posts about deaths in the family or members who are facing surgeries, who share their fears about getting on their horses, or about which bra is best to stop bouncing—all kinds of topics.”

The group works to support its members—and keep them safe. The diverse group includes women with horse training experience and even some who are or were professionals in the industry. The women freely share their expertise, often offering lengthy replies to requests for help.

Roberts says that in addition to the active Facebook group, she’s formed a website to help connect riders to friends in their areas. There’s a special section on the website offering women a place to check in if they’re going out with their horses. A group friend from far away may be their best support and safety contact.

“We have a lot of women who have outlived their husbands who are going out to take care of their horses in the snow and ice,” Roberts says. “I didn’t like that they were not feeling safe and no one knew where they were and if they got back. [Now] they can connect and have someone to tell that they’re going out and to check in with when they get back, too.”

Billboard Exposure

Roberts, who admits she isn’t tech-savvy, was initially alarmed when Facebook officials messaged her about her group and requested a phone call. After checking that the request wasn’t a scam, she took a deep breath and called the Facebook offices.

“Facebook folks really wanted to talk to me,” she says. “They asked for my group to be part of their #moretogether ad campaign.”

Roberts and seven of her group’s members traveled to Los Angeles, Calif.—then out into the desert—for their official Facebook photo shoot. The women rode through the rocky California backdrop while a professional photographer and crew directed their every maneuver.

“They had us ride again and again,” she continues. “When the dust got kicked up, the photographer was especially excited, and that was the photo that got used. It was shocking to see myself and other Aging Horsewomen on the Times Square Billboards in New York City. Our photos were also on billboards across the nation.”

Reaching Out

Roberts says horses have been a part of her life since she was 3 years old. She doesn’t see an end to that equine connection anytime soon. Now 70, Roberts focuses her online time on “making sure group members stay kind.” Her best time is spent with her own horse.

“I am now riding [my horse] Levi on my land,” Roberts says. “Glamorous and fast he is not. He comes whenever he sees me, and he is quickly becoming my heart equine. For me, it’s the relationship with the horse and time spent in nature that matters. These two things fill my heart and give me peace.”

With the help of a team of admins from around the world who keep an eye on the Facebook group day and night, Roberts now has the support of a group. She’s found she is most certainly not alone.

“Aging women can feel overlooked by society,” she says. “With our horses, we are needed, loved, and appreciated. We have a reason to get up and out every single day. This is important for physical and emotional health. The need to be near a horse seems an innate need. Our hearts need to join with the heart of a horse.”

Being part of a horse group has helped her heart and many others, too.

This article about finding community in a group of horse lovers appeared in the October 2022 issue of Horse Illustrated magazine. Click here to subscribe!

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