Are you planning to bring your significant other or non-horsey friend on an exotic, last-minute trip to the barn or horse show this season? If so, they might be well-served by learning the meaning behind some of the basic phrases they could encounter. The below crash course is sure to help the equine-challenged immerse themselves quickly and get the most out of their experience.
Horse Person Phrase
|I am going to hand graze for a little bit.||Off to take sunset Instagram photos, see you in 45 minutes!|
|I am hacking today.||I may be late to dinner due to inevitable post-hacking screwing around.|
|I am almost finished hacking.||I am about to uncover a new problem that requires an additional 30 minutes of flatwork.|
|Cooling out as we speak! I’ll be home in no time.||I am catching up on barn gossip and confirming pony is still afraid of scary bamboo in back field. Confirmed.|
|Just wrapping things up!||I am engaging in last-minute snuggling/forelock braiding.|
|Just cleaning my bit!||I am sitting on a tack trunk with bit in one hand, Googling “Do copper rollers actually do anything” with the other hand.|
|Just cleaning my tack trunk!||There’s no way I am actually doing this. I must be doing something horrible that I’m trying to protect you from, like burying a body or trying a new horse.|
|I’m getting in the car.||I’m walking to the car.|
|Leaving right now!||I am leaving in five minutes… probably.|
|Leaving in five minutes!||I hadn’t seriously thought about leaving until those words came out of my mouth.|
|I don’t know if I can ride today.||I may need a hospital.|
|[Horse] was great!||[Horse] was fine/good/great! (Finally, a cognate! Lucky you!)|
|[Horse] was fine.||[Horse] was terrible, and it feels like a personal affront, and I don’t want to talk about it, and I refuse to admit it.|
|I’ll probably be showing in thirty minutes.||I could be showing in thirty minutes, or I could be showing in two hours, or I might be late for my class right now, or we might be here until it’s dark.|
|I still need to clean my boots.||I haven’t fed the horse mints yet.|
|It wasn’t that much.||It would be best if you didn’t investigate the cost.|
|It was on sale.||If it hadn’t been on sale, no reasonable person with a mortgage would have even considered spending the kind of money I just dropped.|
|Will you be working late this week?||How many days this week can I get away with lessoning?|
|I’ll try to get home a little early tonight after the barn.||You can expect me at exactly the same time as usual.|
|I have a great idea about an investment opportunity for our retirement account.||I have been Googling horses I cannot afford all afternoon.
Wow! Look at you! You’re practically a native speaker! See you at the barn, you worldly person, you.
Emily Bogenschutz lives in Texas and is a freelance writer,
recent hunter-turned-jumper, and professional sneaker of saddle pads
into the washing machine. Follow her on Twitter: @EJBog.