Are you planning to bring your significant other or non-horsey friend on an exotic, last-minute trip to the barn or horse show this season? If so, they might be well-served by learning the meaning behind some of the basic phrases they could encounter. The below crash course is sure to help the equine-challenged immerse themselves quickly and get the most out of their experience.
Horse Person Phrase
|I am going to hand graze for a little bit.
|Off to take sunset Instagram photos, see you in 45 minutes!
|I am hacking today.
|I may be late to dinner due to inevitable post-hacking screwing around.
|I am almost finished hacking.
|I am about to uncover a new problem that requires an additional 30 minutes of flatwork.
|Cooling out as we speak! I’ll be home in no time.
|I am catching up on barn gossip and confirming pony is still afraid of scary bamboo in back field. Confirmed.
|Just wrapping things up!
|I am engaging in last-minute snuggling/forelock braiding.
|Just cleaning my bit!
|I am sitting on a tack trunk with bit in one hand, Googling “Do copper rollers actually do anything” with the other hand.
|Just cleaning my tack trunk!
|There’s no way I am actually doing this. I must be doing something horrible that I’m trying to protect you from, like burying a body or trying a new horse.
|I’m getting in the car.
|I’m walking to the car.
|Leaving right now!
|I am leaving in five minutes… probably.
|Leaving in five minutes!
|I hadn’t seriously thought about leaving until those words came out of my mouth.
|I don’t know if I can ride today.
|I may need a hospital.
|[Horse] was great!
|[Horse] was fine/good/great! (Finally, a cognate! Lucky you!)
|[Horse] was fine.
|[Horse] was terrible, and it feels like a personal affront, and I don’t want to talk about it, and I refuse to admit it.
|I’ll probably be showing in thirty minutes.
|I could be showing in thirty minutes, or I could be showing in two hours, or I might be late for my class right now, or we might be here until it’s dark.
|I still need to clean my boots.
|I haven’t fed the horse mints yet.
|It wasn’t that much.
|It would be best if you didn’t investigate the cost.
|It was on sale.
|If it hadn’t been on sale, no reasonable person with a mortgage would have even considered spending the kind of money I just dropped.
|Will you be working late this week?
|How many days this week can I get away with lessoning?
|I’ll try to get home a little early tonight after the barn.
|You can expect me at exactly the same time as usual.
|I have a great idea about an investment opportunity for our retirement account.
|I have been Googling horses I cannot afford all afternoon.
Wow! Look at you! You’re practically a native speaker! See you at the barn, you worldly person, you.
Emily Bogenschutz lives in Texas and is a freelance writer,
recent hunter-turned-jumper, and professional sneaker of saddle pads
into the washing machine. Follow her on Twitter: @EJBog.