Spring has come to the horse world in my part of the country, and that means several things. Hay prices will come down. Wally’s waterproof blanket can go to the horse laundry. And I can unveil my pasty white legs for public viewing.
So good-bye, LL Bean. Hello, mayonnaise legs.
Truly, mismatched legs and arms—I’m talking tan-wise—are the hallmarks of a real horsewoman. It’s a badge of honor I wear proudly except for those rare jaunts I make into the beach towns of Orange County, where it seems everyone is tan on every part of their body. Then I skulk through stores and restaurants apologetically, almost ashamed of the fact that my arms are nut brown while my legs are the color of salad dressing. I’ve considered wearing jeans throughout the entire summer, just to avoid offending the visual senses of the non-horsey public. But then when we’re suffering from sweltering heat I look even more oddball.
I can just hear the whispers. “Why is that woman clothed in dungarees and boots when we’re all sweating like chickens on a rotisserie? Doesn’t she own a pair of shorts and tennis shoes?”
I know. Having white legs until July, when enough sunshine has finally hit my legs to remove the alabaster shimmer, isn’t such a tragedy. It kind of goes along with the entire warm weather look of a horsewoman. We have the so-called “farmer’s tan” on our arms, which traces the outline of our favorite t-shirts. And we sport the lovely smooshed hair-do that comes from wearing some form of headdress (helmet, cowboy hat, ball cap, visor) that shields us from the blazing sun. Plus let’s not forget the raccoon eyes that develop despite slathering SPF 90 sunblock beyond the realm of our sunglasses. Honestly, I can wear industrial strength sunblock, the kind that gives off an iridescent indigo glow, and I still get a tan on my face. But my legs? Not so much. They’re forever playing catch up. My face and body may be sorrel. But my legs are definitely cremello.
Back to Life with Horses
Don’t forget the “Minnie Mouse” white hands at the end of those tanned arms. Definitely an odd look, too.
That’s the same exact problem I have! My arms and face are dark brown, but my legs aren’t white as snow, but they’re white. This summer I’m going to put aside sometime to tan my white legs.
I get freckles on my face. I say it’s my appaloosa look for the summer.
what a great story and so true,
haha your blog is my favorite
I wear jeans all summer too, even to play tennis.
If people think I’m wierd, I really don’t care.
Some actually ask me why I’m wearing jeans at 120 degrees and I’m like, ‘um…uh,’ and then I laugh nervously. But maybe that’s not exactly the response they’re looking for…