It’s not uncommon for horse owners to become complacent about grooming amidst the many other tasks involved with having horses, especially when combined with finding the time to ride. But a dedicated, mindful equine grooming session can be quite relaxing and yet another way to share space.

I’m an advocate of letting horses be horses, but to be honest, sometimes mine look downright feral as I slack on their grooming. I often find myself doing a quick “cowboy groom,” focusing on just the areas that need direct attention, paying little attention to anything else. The reality as horse owners is sometimes that’s all we have time for.

Often, equestrians can become task-oriented or fixated on the ride, skimming over the true joy of simply being around horses. Mindful grooming is a nice way to connect beyond riding. Your horse will thank you, because after all, who doesn’t love a good spa day and quality time with a friend?

As part of my Body, Mind, Equine retreats, I include a mindful equine grooming segment. This session often includes some of the sweetest and most memorable aspects of the program. When I take the time to do this with my horses, I’m reminded of how rich the experience is.

What are the Benefits of Mindful Grooming for You and Your Horse?

◆ Slowing down and an opportunity to practice present-moment awareness.
◆ Spending quality, quiet time with your horse.
◆ Relaxing and soothing both horse and human, lowering stress levels.
◆ Getting hands on your horse to inspect anything that might be missed at a glance, such as tenderness, weight loss/gain, and hoof issues.
◆ An opportunity to observe energy and to be aware of what energy we are bringing to our horsemanship, such as calm, rushed, scattered or centered.
◆ An occasion to bond, build trust and connect.

Benefits for Senior Horses and Non-Riders

Since my horses are now seniors, I find we spend more time doing tranquil, simple activities, such as unhurried grooming sessions, compared to how we spent time during our many years of long, challenging trail rides. As we move through the various seasons of our lives, we find new pathways to partnership.

Maybe you no longer have interest in riding, or you or your horse has an injury, preventing saddle time. Or perhaps your friends are going riding, but you’re having an off day and you’re just not feeling it. In either case, there’s nothing wrong with staying behind and spending time with your horse in another way.

Sometimes, it’s nice to just be with your horse.

How to Practice Mindful Grooming

Mindful grooming can be approached in several ways, depending on personal preference and your setup.

◆ Make the session feel special, much like you would when setting up for any special occasion. Your horse will sense the difference. Maybe it’s playing relaxing music in your barn, or thoughtfully setting out your grooming tools. I like to start and end my session by giving my horse a peppermint.

◆ Sessions can be done in complete silence, which can be a nice break and a counterbalance from all the noise in our lives. Horses live in a nonverbal world; sometimes it’s nice to join them there!

◆ Soft music can also be pleasant. Choose something soothing. I like to play Native American flute music; I find the sounds peaceful and ethereal.

◆ Before greeting your horse, take a few moments to become centered: be still, close your eyes, and breathe deeply, collecting and gathering yourself. Your horse will detect the difference when your energy is centered versus fragmented.

◆ Before grooming, take a moment to breathe with your horse. Stand next to him with grounded feet and place a hand on his chest, side, or near the nostrils, and breathe deeply—see if you can sync up your breathing. Not only does this calm and connect horse and human, but helps us become keenly aware that the same life-force energy flowing through us also flows through our horse (and all living things), interconnecting us on a deeper level.

◆ Begin your grooming regimen in whatever way you like, while staying attentive to what you’re doing. When your mind wanders from your task, notice that you’ve come out of the moment and bring your attention back. Use two tools to stay harnessed in the present: breath and bodily sensations. When you catch yourself mentally drifting, come back to those two things—they’re always there.

Often, we operate on auto pilot, but learning to stay in the present moment is a gift—that’s why it’s called the present.

◆ Pay attention to your horse’s response/body language. Is he showing signs of relaxing and enjoying the experience? Detect if there are specific areas where your horse likes or dislikes grooming, and adjust accordingly.

◆ See how much you can notice. When grooming, pay attention to the subtleties, smells, sounds, sensations and breath. Use this time as a meditative experience—a waking meditation.

◆ If you groom with others in a shared barn or with a riding group, perhaps suggest this as a group activity. Group energy can sometimes enhance the experience for all.

◆ The session can be as long or short as you’d like. It’s not about the quantity of time, but rather the quality of presence.

◆ In closing, thank and appreciate your horse for being part of your life and for being a “creature teacher.” We can learn so much from them by simply being in their company.

I hope you’ll give mindful grooming a try and continue to seek new ways to connect with your horse and the world around you in a deeper way.

Happy grooming! Your horse thanks you.

This article about mindful grooming appeared in the May 2023 issue of Horse Illustrated magazine. Click here to subscribe!

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The start of a new year is the perfect time to reassess our wellness regimens as equestrians, as well as determine how we’d like our horsemanship to look in the new year. It can be easy to buy into the media-driven version of what fitness, wellness, and horsemanship should look like, but it’s important and enriching to create your own experience by listening to your inner voice.

Make Your Equestrian Wellness & Fitness Plan Own

Many things fall under the umbrella of wellness and horsemanship; this looks different for each of us and it transforms as we move into different phases.

It’s natural and wise to modify both as you and your horse change. Gauging and adjusting needs and lifestyle to your current situation is a tool for living well and staying healthy and happy.

As a long-time yogini (woman dedicated to yogic practices and tradition) and horsewoman, I’ve always looked at my horsemanship and wellness as interconnected; the two reflect each other. We can’t expect our horses to be the only ones to stay physically, mentally, and emotionally sound, yet not work on ourselves. We are better for our equines when we are wholly healthy.

As my horses and I have grown older, the ways we partner have changed and so have our wellness practices. What kept me fit at age 20 is different than what I now require in my mid-50s. Long gone are the days of staying up late and eating whatever I wanted; I’ve modified my fitness routine and have also redefined how I spend time with my horses.

Long gone are also the days of arduous backcountry trail rides and pack trips. We’ve modified to short, easy retirement rides and lots of quality time at the barn. Often, we spend languid grooming sessions and omit riding altogether.

Time for Change

Just because we did something for some time does not mean we have to do it forever. A wise person does not cling to what once was; this is an important life lesson if we are to live the flow of grace. Change is the one thing we can count on!

Maybe you used to be a jogger but now walking feels better. Or you may have been a hard-core weight trainer, but currently find yoga more suitable. In your horsemanship, it’s perfectly fine to have once been a competitive eventer, but you’ve discovered that liberty work or another discipline is more fitting.

It’s all about dialing in to inner knowing, becoming clear on what’s in your best interest and for the good of your horse. Often when we don’t, it’s counterproductive; it can be easier to get injured or to injure your horse, or make mistakes based on poor judgment, basing our choices on what we used to do.

It’s important to pay attention when it’s time to modify. Perhaps your horse is showing physical signs of being unable to work in the manner he used to, or you’re both no longer enjoying riding as you once did—it could be that it’s become too physically, mentally, or emotionally challenging. These and other signals can be indicators that an adjustment is in order.

Rather than viewing change as a loss, reframe the idea from something negative into something exciting and interesting, identifying new pathways forward. It can be pleasant, liberating, and empowering to personalize your wellness and your horsemanship.

How to Get Started

◆ Spend some quiet time and honestly reflect on what you want and need to be doing at this time. Analyze if you’re participating in certain types of wellness and/or equestrian activities because you enjoy them and they work for you, or if it’s due to peer pressure or keeping up with the latest trend.

◆ Determine what works for you now. It can be helpful to write a list or journal about how you’d like your wellness regime and your time with horses to look.

◆ Identify practical and proactive steps to achieve your new goals.

◆ Be realistic and don’t set the bar too high or get attached to expectations, but rather move enthusiastically toward your goals with a gracious attitude of acceptance.

◆ Find a support network of others with similar interests.

◆ Take your first steps in this new direction. Begin by researching or dipping a toe into these new waters to see what you think.

Try Something New

Maybe you no longer wish to or are unable to ride but you still enjoy owning horses. Open up to new and fulfilling ways to partner with your horse, such as mindful grooming sessions or in-hand work.

If the season has come that you no longer own horses but still enjoy being around them, you can volunteer at a local rescue or explore the field of equine-assisted therapy.

Maybe you’ve always wanted to try yoga, but you’re not quite ready to jump into an in-person class, so you dabble with some online sessions first.

Personal Equestrian Fitness & Wellness Plan

Create a three-column list: Body, Mind & Spirit. Under each column, list activities that support how to best care for each aspect of your being, and do at least one from each column every day.

Here’s a sample list:

Taking care of the horse’s body and mind is not so different from taking care of the your own body and mind; it’s all about fine-tuning and adapting. It’s OK to permit yourself to adjust, otherwise you’ll be going against the current. Remember this quote/metaphor: “Ride your horse in the direction he’s going.”

There’s no endgame to personal growth or horsemanship. Here’s to curating your own experience to thrive in the new year!

This article about equestrian wellness and fitness appeared in the January/February 2023 issue of Horse Illustrated magazine. Click here to subscribe!

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If you’ve ridden horses for any length of time, you know that falling is part of the process. Some riders have the tendency to land on their feet like a cat and make it look like an effortless, involuntary dismount.

I land like a turtle—on my back. While I am clumsy by nature, I strongly feel it is my lack of physical fitness that results in my lack of finesse and potential for injury. When we as riders have control of our bodies and are more physically fit, we have more confidence in both our riding and in handling a situation gone sideways—sometimes literally.

We can say the same of our mental fitness. We must build our mental muscles because not every ride will be good, and we need to learn to build our confidence.

“After a fall, the critical voice in our head typically tells us we are terrible riders, that we should have reacted differently, and that we are now failing,” says sports and exercise psychology coach Annika McGivern. “None of this is true, but this voice can keep us in a place of internal misery long after the events of the fall are behind us.”

We second-guess ourselves, our horses, and most of all, our skills in the saddle. However, there are a few things we can do to regain confidence after a fall.

Take a Moment

Horses snap out of their fight-or-flight state quickly, and move on as if nothing happened. Humans have a tougher time letting go. McGivern suggests focusing on your breathing.

“It’s OK and normal to feel scared in the saddle when you first get back on after a fall,” she says. “Any time you feel scared, commit to focusing on deep belly breaths. As you breathe, release any tension in your body and try to smile. This will help tell your brain that you’re safe and undo the fear response that was created from the fall.”

Deep breathing will also help reduce your heart rate and bring it back down to a manageable level that won’t alarm your horse into thinking a threat is still out there.

Don’t Get Emotional

As an overthinker, I replay a tough ride over in my mind to question how I could have done things differently. Every “bad ride” has a lesson to learn. Understand what happened, then let it go.

“It’s easier to be kind to yourself when you realize that taking responsibility and beating yourself up are very different things,” says McGivern. “Taking responsibility means accepting the opportunity to learn something important and become a better rider because of that tough experience. Beating yourself up only makes you feel more unsure of yourself and can destroy confidence in the long term.”

I was riding my pony in the woods when we both heard a strange sound. Before I could point him toward the sound, he dropped his shoulder, wheeled around, and I shot to the ground like a missile. Rather than get angry at him or myself, I focused on improving my balance in the saddle so that I could have a stickier seat rather than an ejector button.

Lesson Learned

Not every ride is a catastrophe waiting to happen. With each positive experience, your confidence as a rider will grow, and you realize that the days you fall are actually quite few.

“Every fall holds a huge lesson,” says McGivern. “Did you fall off because you couldn’t see the distance and threw your upper body at a long spot? OK, time to become an expert at finding your distance.” Learn from the experience and let it help you grow as a rider.

Trainers are wonderful examples of this mindset. I recently watched a trainer with a young horse at his first competition. When he refused a scary jump, she was caught off balance at the wrong time, landing on her feet and catching the reins. Years of experience had taught her how to fall and respond quickly with muscle memory to catch her horse. Now she can improve her horse’s confidence in those situations during training.

Acknowledge Intrusive Thoughts & Face the Disappointment

“After a fall, the critical voice in your head typically has a field day,” says McGivern. “It tells you you’re a terrible rider and you should have reacted differently. This self-doubting voice can keep you in a place of internal misery. The first step toward regaining confidence is to acknowledge it’s not truth, but a reflection of your inner doubts and fears.”

Training your mindset is just as important as training your horse.

In this video from Ridely, expert mind coach Annette Paterakis gives us some great tools that should help us understand and feel our disappointment and then channel it into something that we can learn from to improve in the future.

Horses have a unique way of challenging us. Falls occur periodically as part of the learning process. It can be scary getting back on, especially if you’ve been hurt. Rather than focusing on the fear and getting mad at yourself or your horse, focus on breathing and how you can change your mindset so that you move forward together as a partnership. Build your mental skills and soon you will find your confidence improves in the saddle.

This article about regaining confidence as a rider appeared in the October 2022 issue of Horse Illustrated magazine. Click here to subscribe!

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Except when we can’t. Occasionally, your mental computer gets gummed up with saddle soap. You lean at the jump. You twist for a lead change. You cut the corners. Your trainer explains what you need to do. You screw up again. You’ve hit a wall.

But sometimes, out of nowhere, your coach pulls magic words out of their hat that hit that mental barrier like a wrecking ball. And poof! You, your horse, and Miley Cyrus are crashing through the wall.

Sure, when in doubt, add leg. But here are a few more mind-blowing quips and unexpected riding advice from my trainers that suddenly made it all make sense.

◆ “Use the pressure you want to use.” This piece of riding advice is so logical it makes me want to scream. If you like a horse with an electric response, more pressure won’t do it; a whisper-soft leg with corrections is the way to go. If you prefer a firmer feel, you’re not going to get there anxiously holding your leg off your thin-skinned mount.

Use the pressure you want to use. It’s scary, it’s counterintuitive to me, and it works.

◆ “You have to go to work. So does your horse.” This came after I explained to a visiting trainer that my sassy, tantrum-y horse wasn’t in a “good mood.” Rule No. 1: always check whether the source of resistance is pain. But barring that, even great horses (especially certain mares) have grumpy days. I’ll make any excuse for my baby: It’s hot out! She doesn’t like the flowers! But this trainer helped me realize we still must do our jobs.

Even when I’m not “feeling the vibe,” I must go to work. And I may cut her some slack, but so does my grouchy mare.

◆ “I’m raising the jump, but ride it exactly the same.” I know this is going to be as big a shock to you as it was to me, but the fact you hear the jump cups sliding up the standards does not mean you have to get as nervous as if you just entered the Grand Prix ring for a $100,000 jump-off.

It turns out if you’re already doing OK, you don’t need to lose your entire mind over the jump going up 3 inches. Who knew?

◆ “Don’t forget to let the air out.” When you feel the anxiety rising, slowly blow air out of your mouth like you’re blowing bubbles. Whenever I do this, I realize how long I’ve been holding it in, and I feel active relaxation from all parties. Whoops.

◆ “Don’t ask until you’re ready.” Your trainer’s looking at you. Your lesson mates are looking at you. IT’S TIME TO CANTER. LIKE, RIGHT NOW. Relaaaaax. Are you ready to canter? Or has your horse been walking around half asleep, waiting for his turn through the grid? Is his white-rimmed eyeball trained on the lawnmower buzzing past? Are you discombobulated? Need some water?

Take a beat, friend. Gather yourself before rushing toward chaos and wrongness. You can afford a few moments.

◆ “Don’t make the distance work; make the distance happen.” A positive mantra from my jumping trainer to remind me this is not entirely a game of chance. My pace, rein length, and body position are all up to me. But also …

◆ “The last few strides are for your horse.” Whatever canter you have coming out of the corner, that’s your canter. The day before your wedding is not the time to be experimenting with tanning, and the strides before the jump are not the time to be experimenting with adding or subtracting a step.

If you’re blessed with an obvious distance, look up. Your job is done. Like pores in a magnifying mirror, the more you stare at the spot you chose, the worse it’s going to get.

If you see nothing, keep your pace, and 99 percent of the time, the spot will materialize out of thin air. It feels like a trust fall, but unless you’re jumping huge jumps, you’re going to be just fine.

◆ “Just sit there.” Truly the seed from which all these comments grow, and by far the hardest instruction to swallow. Riders are perfectionists; we can always be rounder, straighter, and pushing harder from behind.

But “sitting there” is an art form. When everyone is getting frustrated, don’t fret, don’t pick, just sit there. Shut the amoeba brain off for a moment and enjoy the ride.

Now get on your wrecking ball and start making some breakthroughs!

This article about riding advice appeared in the November/December 2021 issue of Horse Illustrated magazine. Click here to subscribe!

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