After years as a rider and horse owner, we hold on to that identity for ourselves. It may not have been a steady journey, and it was probably interrupted by work and family changes. Or maybe it started late. At some point, we begin to define ourselves as horse owners.

After I lost my last horse, these thoughts were on my mind:

Do I need another horse?

Am I ready for that?

Who am I now?

Here, we dive into four stories of horse women who are now investing their time and energy into a new horse. Their excitement and sense of good fortune are inspiring.

Meet Lois

Lois Pienkos and her husband live on a picturesque farm near a small town in Eastern Iowa. There are barns, an arena, a jump field, pastures, and a lovely white house with a wraparound enclosed porch full of plants.

Lois is a quilter and paints bright barn quilts that hang on the buildings. When her daughter began riding in Pony Club, Lois got involved and then became a rider herself. She bred her mare and raised two dressage horses that she took to clinics and shows. Now retired, she and her husband spend most of the year on their farm in Iowa with their horses and four to five months in Wellington, Fla., where her trainer lives.

Lois and her trainer decided it was time to find a smaller horse for Lois to move up the levels. They found a great match for her in Florida in 2021, a 10-year-old Lusitano gelding named Heroi. Once home, she easily, but with sadness, sold her bigger Second Level dressage horse and started on a new adventure.

“Heroi is being trained in dressage,” Lois says. “I’m also beginning to try working equitation. He and I are playing with some of the props and plan to attend a clinic or two in 2023 in Iowa. We started him on trails while we were in Florida this past season. At home and at the barn in Florida, we hack around the property regularly. We do hope to show Heroi, hopefully in the next year.”

The summer fills with clinics and lessons, working on what they learned the past winter in Florida. They travel to Loxahatchee, Fla., in November, where they stable with friends from around the country and train. Lois says her horse’s progress keeps her going, as she “is living the dream.”

Meet Celesta

Celesta Albonetti has ridden since she was a young woman, beginning with hunters, jumpers and eventing before committing to dressage. Celesta loved her small farm in eastern Iowa, surrounded by creeks, woods and farm fields. Her two Trakehner mares loved it, too.

After 16 years there, she retired and returned to Memphis, Tenn., and her family. Her older mare with exquisite gaits and flash had passed away a few years earlier.

Celesta brought the younger mare, Angie, to Tennessee. She found a suitable dressage barn and became friends with riders at the barn who were able to ride Angie for her. Celesta spent hours there, as she has always cared for her horses in this way. Tragically, Angie later became ill and passed away. Most of us can empathize with the grief this brought to Celesta.

When she was ready for another horse, Celesta purchased another Trakehner mare, a 6-year-old she found in Kentucky. Baroness III, called “Aliza” in the barn, was foaled in 2015 and spent two years as a broodmare prior to Celesta purchasing her in August 2021.

“I felt alive again,” she says. “I go out every day, and I love it.”

After a stall became available in her trainer’s barn in Eads, Tenn., Celesta moved her mare there. The trainer works with Aliza each week, and her progress makes all three very happy. Celesta’s trainer, Macy, has started to show Aliza, and the three share the excitement of their progress. Their plans are to show at Training and First Level during the summer and fall.

Meet Ellen

Ellen Spector has spent her lifetime riding. After years of working, raising children, and boarding her horses, she settled in Iowa, where she and her husband bought a large acreage and put up a 12-stall boarding barn, West Branch Horse Farm. She moved from hunter/jumpers into dressage. She bought mares and started to raise her own dressage horses. Ellen prided her barn as having the best care in the area.

The years passed with many beautiful horses and many devoted boarders. As Ellen’s horses aged and passed away, she found herself without a horse of her own and began to think about the next one—a horse she would keep even after eventually selling the property.

With her husband’s encouragement, Ellen traveled to Denmark with a Danish boarder, Susanne. Susanne’s sister drove them from barn to barn, searching for the right horse. The three dressage riders found a lovely young mare for Ellen, who has always loved mares.

She bought home the 5-year-old Danish Warmblood mare Kokkedals Heroine, barn name “Heroine,” in 2016. With some help from professional trainers, they have begun to compete at recognized dressage shows, a long-time goal.

“We plan to go to three show this summer at Maffit Lake [near Des Moines, Iowa],” she says. “I can’t do without her.” They spend time together every day as Ellen is doing chores and riding.

Meet Judy, the Author

As for me, I adopted a rescued yearling in 2004 named Coach, a Hackney. In 2021 he had a pasture accident and had to be put down, which was very traumatic for me.

The mare that shared the pasture with him left, so no horses remained on my property. I decided I needed to find a quiet horse for myself, my kids, and my friends. I found Nellie at a small farm 90 minutes away; her teenage owner had outgrown her.

I made two trips with friends to meet and ride Nellie before trailering her home. Her age was uncertain, maybe 10 or 11. They never got papers, but called her a Quarter Horse, which seems correct. She’d had a healthy foal that year. She is pretty and quiet.

She and the older Percheron-cross we board for a friend got along from the beginning. Gracie is huge but sweet. Nellie and I connected during the first year. She calls to me from the pasture when I am in the house. She was ridden with western and English saddles.

I’m not riding now and have not been able to find someone to ride her, but she is a happy horse. These two are the quietest horses we have ever had. I put on their masks, groom and spray them in our large dry lot with no halters or lead ropes. They don’t spook or run from crop dusters or large farm equipment. They come for dinner when called.

Getting Back into Horse Ownership

All four women, including four myself, have gone through the process of asking difficult questions.

Why buy a horse now? We found ourselves with room in our hearts to fill after losing or selling our previous horses. Two decided on young horses, knowing their needed training would be long and costly.

Three met trainers who could ride their horses for them. As long-time owners, we already knew the realities of horse ownership, how much help was needed, and where to find it.

If you’re thinking of getting back into horse ownership, think first of the horse’s wellbeing. You need a safe and well-maintained barn, whether at home or a boarding facility.

If at home, you’ll need a backup person to provide the horse care when you can’t. You must have a budget that will accommodate the numerous additional expenses that come with adding a horse to the family.

We all need to have plans for our horses and pets when we are no longer present. If you’re at the beginning of your riding life, you may not have thought of a future after you’re gone. Longtime horse owners tend to be more prepared and plan for this step. This is important to consider before jumping into horse ownership—for horse lovers of any age.

But as you look out into the pasture and feel that space in your heart has been filled, all of the time, financial and organizational challenges seem worth it.

This article about riding a new horse later in life appeared in the October 2023 issue of Horse Illustrated magazine. Click here to subscribe!

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Life as a Horse Owner

Once a horse owner, the challenges continued. My first was a green Appendix Quarter Horse. He developed a mysterious condition where his heart rate would not increase with exercise.

A friend that was headed for the vet school more than two hours away offered to take my horse and I along so he could be evaluated. Snow began to fall during the day. On the way home, it became heavy, and we went off the road into the median on the interstate. Somehow, the truck and trailer stayed upright, and everyone was OK.

While I sat in the cab and worried about the horse, my friend went for help. I stepped into the snow to check on him and feed him carrots. The friend finally returned with a driver and tow truck, who was able to pull us out. It felt like a miracle. The unexplained problem with my horse’s heart eventually disappeared.

When it was time to geld my large American Warmblood colt, Careem, the vet’s helper did not arrive, so it was just me and the vet. Once the colt was down in the sand ring, I had to hold his head down.

Caring for a stall-bound horse requires fortitude. Careem did not want to be in there. He had injured a suspensory ligament in a front leg. Rewrapping an antsy horse while keeping track of cotton, Vetrap and cut pieces of duct tape is, out of necessity, a quickly learned skill that requires steady nerves. So did walking him in the front yard along a busy gravel road during his rehab.

Teaching Careem to load was difficult. He was big and stubborn, not fearful. He just did not want to get in. After getting help from several professionals, I managed to teach him to self-load, and we traveled happily together.

On a ride home from the vet clinic one day, my trailer blew a tire. We parked on the side of the road waiting for the repair truck. Interstate 81 traffic sped by us, inches from my horse’s head.

I appreciate the service truck drivers who will change a loaded horse trailer tire on the side of a busy highway. My horse took it all calmly, in character. I was more worried than he was.

A Dream of Showing

As a child, I read books about girls and their horses going to horse shows, and this became my dream. It finally became real after hours, days, and years of riding.

My challenges combined at weekend shows and started with loading and trailering. Due to my location, I often do this alone—probably not wise, but useful in the pursuit of bravery. Once at the show grounds, I hurry to unload horse and gear, tack up, and get safely over to the crowded warm-up ring full of nervous horses and riders and yelling trainers. We meet these challenges.

I usually don’t have a trainer with me, which leaves me and my horse on our own to stay out of everyone’s way. Once we enter the dressage ring, nothing else matters. After every test, I want to go back in the ring so I can ride it again better. I love these weekends, and now realize how lucky I am.

With the horse of a lifetime, Montreal, my challenges continued. I needed to call upon the years of bravery exercises to continue my dream. Now, I was headed to different barns with different clinicians, to whom we pay significant fees to correct our position and cues to help our horses move to their potential.

Friends helped me teach Montreal to load. He had arrived after a bad experience. Loading him at home, we would make a chute with the trailer and doors so there was only no other alternative. We would put his buddy in the next stall for moral support. Eventually, I taught him to self-load and the trips for lessons became easy.

This past winter was tough, with snow piled everywhere. Strong winds blew all day and night, leaving the way to the hay barn impassible. Drifts made the gates difficult or impossible to open.

Climbing through the fence was the only alternative. Using old ski poles made my trek possible. I’ve started and ended my journey living in snow country, where my braveness and strength saves the day.

Throughout the years, I have been helped by friends and instructors to get past and learn from situations requiring resilience and confidence. I’m sure I am not alone.

This article about becoming a fearless horse owner appeared in the November/December 2022 issue of Horse Illustrated magazine. Click here to subscribe!

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